My husband and I have a brief Bible study together every morning before we start our day. Our last study was taken from James chapter three which discusses how dangerous our words can be. I've read these passages many times before, but this time they came alive to me in a new way.

James 3:5-6 says, "So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things. See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire. And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell."

In other words, our tongue, or the words we use, can destroy not only our lives, but also the lives of those around us. James goes on to say in 3:8-10:

"But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way."

All of us have been guilty of this from time to time. Often we curse others when we feel insecure or threatened. We believe they have done us wrong somehow. We want to hurt them, even kill them with our words. James makes it clear that this kind of reaction is not from God. James 3:13-16 says:

"Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing."

As far as God is concerned, there is no justification or rationalization which gives us the right to lash out with the intent to harm another person. It's sin, plain and simple. He will forgive us, but we must learn to forgive those who offended us. We must open our minds to the fact that people will not always say what we want to hear. We will not always agree with each other. It's unfair to expect others to cater to our emotional whims and temper tantrums.

So, how do we begin to tame our tongues and our immaturity? James gives us guidelines for success in chapter three verses 17-18:

"But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness."

Forgiveness is a wonderful thing. It allows us to live and love. I've never met a person with unforgiveness in their heart who was truly happy. They may be good at hiding their bitterness, but eventually it will surface in the form of words that kill. Many families, churches, and friendships have been destroyed in the wake of an eruption of bitterness.

Let go of your anger. Decide today that you are never going to allow someone to offend you again. When you think about it, we make a conscious decision to be offended or not. We are in total control of how we choose to respond to what happens around us.

As a final thought, Ephesians 4:29 says, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."

May you be blessed in all that you do, and may peace and joy flood into your lives as God continues to reveal Himself through the study of His word.

This artice was published on Associated Content as part of a Sermon Outline Series. For the series version with reader's comments click here.